


Family

by swordfaery



Series: what we do inn the apocalypse [8]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, for all you who were disappointed by zolf having no beard in my last fic he has one now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26567296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swordfaery/pseuds/swordfaery
Summary: Zolf has lost so many people- but the world is full of many more.
Relationships: Amelia Earhart & Zolf Smith, Commander James Barnes & Zolf Smith, Howard Carter & Zolf Smith, Zolf Smith & Oscar Wilde
Series: what we do inn the apocalypse [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1753462
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Family

“My family’s dead.” There is no point elaborating further, so Zolf doesn’t. Wilde needs to know about what this new virus might throw at them, about people they need to watch out for, and Zolf doesn’t have people, so really he doesn’t need to be here. 

Wilde notes this down, which Zolf thinks is stupid, but he doesn’t say anything because Carter is asking what counts as a friend and then if someone who tried to put you in prison but also rescued you- but didn’t actually rescue you because you were fine, but sort of helped you get out of a pit this one time, counts as a friend. Sometimes Carter’s stupidity outranks Wilde’s stupidity and Zolf needs someone he can roll his eyes at. 

Wilde doesn’t roll his eyes back, which Zolf doesn’t take personally, and Carter goes on listing more and more oddly specific circumstances and whether or not the people in them count as friends. What does count as a friend? Someone you love? Someone you enjoy spending time with? Shit, is Wilde Zolf’s friend now? 

It’s an unsettling thought considering that the guy’s an absolute arse, but Zolf supposes he’s better than Bertie and he’s better than Figgis, and Zolf came close to considering them friends once upon a time. Wilde is his friend, and the only one Zolf has since he abandoned his last two and they went off and died in Rome. This friend, even though he’s a smug bastard, Zolf is determined to keep alive. 

***************

Zolf is watching Barnes from the shadows, trying desperately not to think about Sasha, and how much better she would be at this. Barnes is sitting quietly in the cell, like he has been for the last five days, and Zolf wonders if he was sent for him. If the hive mind is so stuck on people they can use to manipulate him with, they could only come up with that guy who court martialed him that one time. That seems pathetic, so Zolf steps out of the shadows to talk to Barnes. 

“How’s Sasha?” is the first thing he asks when he sees Zolf. “I worried about her going off with two upper class knobs and a felon.” 

“She’s dead.” Zolf says, and then half heartedly, “and Hamid wasn’t an upper class knob.”

Barnes hums in a noncommittal way, and if it didn’t hurt so much to think about them, Zolf would argue further on Hamid’s behalf. 

“Anyway what’re you doing here?” he asks, steering the subject away from his dead friends. “Last time I saw you, you sent me to prison.” 

“And how the tables have turned,” Barnes says dryly. Looking Zolf in the eye he says “I’m here to help.” 

Zolf mutters a thank you, even though it's dangerous to believe people are people before the quarantine is up, and sits back down. 

“For what it's worth,” says Barnes, even though Zolf has just picked his book back up, “Sasha and Hamid seemed to really like you- and I’m sorry they’re dead.” 

“Yeah. Me too.” 

Zolf picks up the first Campbell book in the series about the unkightly knight and passes it through the bars. “You can read this if you want- you know if you hadn't court martialed me I might have never discovered Campbell.” 

*******************

Carter is clutching Barnes’s beautiful adamantine sword in one hand, and clinging to the trunk of the tree with another. He’s leaning across to try and dislodge the peaches that are too far out of his reach, while Zolf and Barnes make unhelpful suggestions. 

Benjiro, the innkeeper, promised to make them a peach tart if they collected some peaches for him; not taking into account how short and stupid they all were. He told them that the peaches were special to him, that he was proud of them, and that peaches were also extremely fragile and to handle them with care. 

“If I cut this branch off,” says Carter, looking as though he’s doing invisible calculations “and you two catch it, that's at least, ten peaches.” He looks incredibly proud of this terrible plan, so Zolf and Barnes just get into place and hope it works. 

It doesn’t. Zolf finds out just how sticky peaches are when three explode on his face, and Barne’s hair and face and shirt are full of twigs and leaves. It looks painful, but Zolf has no sympathy for him because there is peach juice in his beard and now every time he takes a breath he smells peaches. 

Carter almost falls out of the tree he’s laughing so hard. He mocks them both ceaselessly, even though it was his plan. Barnes tactfully points this out, and Zolf refuses to be part of their squabble, even when they both seem to assume he’ll be on their side, and when Benjiro sees them he just laughs. Even though he’s sticky and horrible, Zolf feels like laughing too.

***************

Amelia is taking them back over Europe to see if there’s anyone who can be saved. The storms are still bad, but above the clouds they think the airship should be fine. 

She hugs Zolf when she sees him, and he lets her. She asks about Sasha, because of course she does. Everyone wants to know about Sasha. Everyone misses Sasha. Everyone loved Sasha. Zolf knows this because everyone includes him, and he thinks about her everyday. 

Amelia seems genuinely sad that Sasha is dead, although the news that Bertie is also dead cheers her up a bit, and she’s indifferent about Hamid. She attempts to teach Barnes and Carter to steer the ship, and Zolf suddenly remembers he hates airships and plants himself in the middle of the deck hoping it will alleviate his airsickness. 

Amelia brings him another bucket after an hour of dealing with Carter driving the ship, and sits next to him. She doesn’t say anything, at first, waiting for the colour to return to Zolf’s cheeks, and then tells him his replacement Sasha’s aren’t very good. 

He manages to laugh at this, even though Sasha and Hamid are both still gone, and there is no replacing Sasha. “So you’re a true Harlequin now?” she says, and Zolf shrugs. 

“Someones gotta help out, step up now the meritocracy is… crumbling.”

“Your father would be proud.” she says. “I’m sure you know that already but I thought I’d remind you.” 

Zolf didn’t know that. “I suppose he might be, not doing it for that though.” his voice is gruffer than it should be, and Amelia says nothing. 

“Nice legs,” she says, after brief silence. “Not so keen on the water ones anymore?”

“Posiedon and me-” he begins, unsure of how to proceed. “Posiedon just wasn’t a good fit.” 

“I never liked the idea of him myself,” Amelia says, “Definitely more of a Zeus person, a sky lover and all that.”

Zolf shrugs. “Maybe no god will ever fit, maybe religion just isn’t for me.” 

“It’s not for everyone.” she says, and then stands up, and extends a hand to Zolf. “But even if it's not a god you believe in, find something. You seem a little lost.”

Zolf thinks about this later, as he feels too sick to sleep- even the familiar sounds of Barnes snoring and Carter mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like “wasn’t me” in his sleep- don’t help soothe him. Most missions they go on together end with them piling on top of each other and going to sleep, generally covered in blood, but not always. Today, they all have separate hammocks, and Zolf misses the comfort that being pressed against a warm body brings, the knowledge that there is someone who feels safe enough to sleep next to you, and that you feel safe sleeping next to them. When they were kids, he and Feryn would sleep in the same bed, whispering to each other when they were supposed to be sleeping. 

Sometimes, he, Carter, and Barnes do that, and although it's not the same, it's still nice. Tonight though, Zolf only has himself, and he thinks about what he believes in. Not a god, and not himself anymore, maybe never himself again- but something. Maybe it's the idea of everything being ok at the end of the day, maybe it's the promise that someday things will be better, but whichever it is, Zolf believes in it. Someday things will be better, and he will be able to say with confidence, that things are good. 

That’s the reason he keeps going, and that's what’s keeping him from being lost.

***********************

There is a long scar across Wilde’s face and he is pale and withdrawn when they return. He sends them into quarantine without saying hello, and is still distant with them when they come out. They know what must have happened of course, with all this going on it isn't hard to guess, but he refuses to talk about it- or anything in fact. 

Zolf’s attempts to cheer him up include making him his favourite meals, forcing him to get some sleep when he starts overworking himself, and putting his foot down when Wilde suggests quarantining everyone all the time because he can’t keep an eye on them when he’s asleep. The blue veins don’t appear to have reached Japan anyway. 

None of this works of course, but Zolf tries anyway, because even though it's not enough, it's all he can do. He and Wilde spend the next week pouring over documents as the storm batters the inn, trying to find something they missed about the blue veins. Nothing. Carter tries to help in the middle of the week, but messes up the system they have going on, and all things considered Zolf doesn’t think his reaction is too bad. 

Carter brings them a delicious meal later that Zolf has a sneaking suspicion was actually made by Benjiro, and although he’s annoying he does look sorry so Zolf forgives him. He saves off apologising to Carter for yelling at him until it's time for bed, partly because he isn’t particularly sorry, and partly because he is enjoying the quiet that a slightly ashamed Carter brings. 

************

It’s the one year anniversary of Sasha and Hamid’s disappearance. Zolf wants to go to Rome with Einstien, but he’s not allowed, and even though he understands why he’s still grumpy. His friends are dead, and it’s hard to deal with the fact that he knew them for less time than Carter- he got more time with fucking Carter than Sasha. 

Not that he doesn’t love Carter- and not that he’d ever admit that, but it still hurts.   
Zolf goes down to the coast, and sits on a large rock, watching the waves. They’re huge, and he can barely hear them over the sound of the wind but they still manage to be calming. He thinks about Dover, and how good Sasha was on the boat, how Hamid said he’d go with Zolf, no matter what. He never told them he loved them. Now he never could. 

He’s pulled out of his thoughts by a stream of swearwords in a voice Zolf recognises as Barnes. He turns, to see he’s slipped on the rocks, and there's a bloody gush down his leg. Zolf isn’t sure what he’s doing, he’s not connected to Poseidon anymore- but for some reason he feels something stir in him, and when he reaches out Barnes’ skin heals over. 

It’s not Poseidon, doesn’t feel cool and wet like Poseidon- but instead warm and sort of sparkly. Something new, something different. Maybe just what they all need.


End file.
